AMERICAN KAMIKAZE

KAMIKAZE 101

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KAMIKAZE 101...............IN THE 1st PLACE, I AM THE AMERICAN KAMIKAZE. FIRST AMMENDMENT FREE SPEECH IS MY BIRTHRIGHT. I CAN AND WILL SAY ANYTHING I WANT TO. SATANS MEDIA, STATION 666, GOES TO EXTREMES TO MAKE AMERICANS THINK THEY DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHTS THAT WE DO HAVE......IN THE 2nd PLACE, I HAVE NOT HAD THE OPERATION [testiculus removeus], I STILL HAVE ALL PARTS GOD GRANTED ME WITH.  I WILL NOT SACRIFICE MY MANHOOD TO BOW DOWN AT THE ALTER OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS, OR AS THE KAMIKAZE CALLS IT 'POLITICAL CRACKNESS'......  IN THE 3rd INNING, I AM NOT THE WHINING WINSOME WHIMPERING WEASEL THAT POPULATES 'MY SORDID LIFE STORY' PAGE. THIS PAGE, AND MANY OTHER PARTS OF THIS WEBSITE IS SATIRE AND COMEDY.  I AM A TOUGH RUGGED CONTENDER WHO DOSN`T TAKE ANY GUFF FROM ANYBODY. NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO........  IN THE 4th DIMENSION, I AM AN ABSOLUTE FREE SPEECH ZEALOT.  FREEDOM AND FREE SPEECH ARE AT THE VERY TOP OF MY LIST OF MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.........  IN THE 5th QUARTER, THE KAMIKAZE DOES NOT RESPECT THE LOW CRAWLING, WORMLIKE CREATURES THAT SPEND 90% OF THEIR TIME WHINING AND CRYING OFFENDED, AND THE OTHER 10% OF THEIR TIME TRYING TO CONVINCE SOMEBODY HOW PROUD THEY ARE. THESE SICKOS USE BEING OFFENDED AS A WEAPON OF HATE AGAINST THOSE WHO DISAGREE WITH THEM.......IN THE 6TH SENSE, HUMAN BEINGS ARE RIPPED FROM THEIR FAMILYS IN EUROPE AND PUT IN PPRISON IN EUROPE AND CANADAJUST FOR VOICING AN UNPOPULAR OPINION[criticizing homosexuality. challenging holocaust], AND THE SAME HATE FILLED NAZI DEMONS WANT TO IMPRISON AMERICANS FOR SUCH. THEY WANT TO END FREE SPEECH FOR ONLY SOME.......IN THE 7th ROW, ADOLPH HITLER INVENTED THE TERM 'HATE SPEECH', WHICH MEANT ANY SPEECH THAT OPPOSED HIS THIRD REICH AND THE NAZI AGENDA.  MAO TSE TUNG USED THE TERM 'SPEAKING STRANGE WORDS' FOR THE SAME REASON. TO SILENCE HIS CRITICS WITH IMPRISONMENT OR DEATH. TODAYS NAZIS USE THE TERM HATE SPEECH THE SAME WAY.  AMERICAS FOUNDING FATHERS WORDED THE FIRST AMMENDMENT EXPRESSLY TO INVALIDATE THE HITLER TERM 'HATE SPEECH AS A RESTRICTION OF FREE SPEECH.'  EVEN THE TROJANS [in more ways then one], LIKE SEAN HANNITY AND BILL OREILLY TRY TO VALIDATE CENSORSHIP ON THEIR SHOWS..........IN THE 8th PERIOD, THERE IS ABSOLUTLY NO TRUE FREE SPEECH TO BE FOUND IN THE OLD MEDIA, EXCEPT BY FAR LEFT LIBERALS.  ONLY THE NEW MEDIA INTERNET IS ABSOLUTE FREE SPEECH. THAT`S WHY THE OLD MEDIA TRIES TO CENSOR THE INTERNET........IN THE 9th TERM, THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED OUT OF NECESSITY BECAUSE SATANS MEDIA, STATION 666, SO AMERICANS COULD COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHERS, AND GET REAL UNEDITED AND UNCENSORED NEWS[al gore didn`t invent the internet]..........IN THE 10th SEGMENT, MANY BRAVE AMERICANS SACRIFICED ALL TO GUARANTEE AMERICAS FREEDOM AND FREE SPEECH RIGHTS.  MANY DO NOT RESPECT THIS BECAUSE THEY HATE AMERICA AND WANT TO CHANGE US INTO A SOCIALIST SHITHOLE.  FAR LEFT LIBERALS LIKE THE NAACP AND OTHERS ADORE FIDEL CASTRO AND WANT THAT KIND OF SOCIETY IN AMERICA.........IN THE 11th AMALGAMY, I, THE HUMBLE SENSITIVE AMERICAN KAMIKAZE, COULD GO ON AND ON.  HOWEVER I`M SURE YOU GET THE PICTURE.  SO I WILL END TODAYS CLASS NOW.  BE SURE YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK, AND MEMORIZE THE BLACK RACIST NOMENCLATURE RULES FOUND ON THE 'IDENTIFYING THE BLACK RACIST' PAGE ON THIS WEBSITE...........american kamikaze....class dismissed.................

IN A SHOW OF ESTEEM AND GRATFULLNESS FOR ALL OF THE KAMIKAZES FAITHFUL STEWARDESS[or flight attendents]AND LANDING CREW MEMBERS. THE KAMIKAZE WILL NOW PRESENT IMAGES FROM MY OWN PRIVATE SCRAP BOOK CLIPPINGS.  THESE GRAPHIC PHOTOS OF FIGHTS THE AMERICAN KAMIKAZE HAS HAD THROUGH MY CAREER ARE NOT FOR THE WEAK AT HEART.  MANY OF THESE PHOTOS WERE TAKEN DURING COMPETETIONS FROM VERY UNDERGROUND FIGHTING.  THE ABSOLUTE. ABSOLUTE. INFINITIM.  SO VIOLENT. SO BRUTAL, THAT SOME PHOTOS WILL NOT BE OF THE UTMOST PICTURE QUALITY.  BECAUSE OF POORLY LIGHTED ARENAS, AND SMALL CROUD TURNOUT.  MOSTMOF THESE PHOTO WILL BE OF MY FIGHTS IN THE 'DOG SAVAGE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS'  THE DSFC [we jokingly call it disfunctional. you get it?] DOG SAVAGE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS IS THE ULTIMATE ULTIMATE OF ALL ULTIMATES EVER.  UNLIKE THE LESSER ULTIMATE FIGHTERS AND THE JAPANESE PRIDE FIGHTERS.  I`M NOT PUTTING THESE GUYS DOWN, BUT IN THE DSFC ANYONE[thing] UNDER 35 THOUSAND POUNDS HAS TO HAVE A TRAINER FROM THE FUTURE.  ABSOLUTELY.  UNLESS YOU ARE REALLY MAMMOTH[by dsfc standards], YOU BETTER HAVE A TRAINER FROM THE FUTURE. EVEN THE REAL BIG GUYS ARE SARTING TO BECOME DINOSAURS.  YOU SEE,  THE DSFC IS NOT LIMITED TO HUMANS.  IN FACT PEOPLE[please lets not call them creatures anymore] FROM OUTER SPACE, OR ANY PLANET ARE WELCOME TO COMPETE IN THE DSFC.  NATURAL SUPERNATURAL, PARANATURAL, IT DOSN`T MATTER...CREATURES FROM UNDER THE SEA.  ANYBODY[or whatever whatever they are]. JUST GET IT ON.  IN FACT TEAM HELL COMPETES IN THE DOG SAVAGE FIGHTING CHAMPIOSHHIPS. THE ULTIMATE FIGHTERS ARE STUBBORN. THEY STILL WANT TO DO IT IN THE GYM.   TAHT`S OLD SCHOOL...  BUT LETS GET BACK TO MY FIGHT PHOTOS.  THE KAMIKAZE WILL WALK YOU THROUGH EACH FIGHT AND TELL YOU WHAT THE CAMERA MISSES, AND THE RESULTS OF EACH BATTLE..AS I HAVE SAID. THE AMERICAN KAMIKAZE NEVER LEANS ON THE LIMP.  I ONLY SEEK THE TOUGHEST OPPONENT. ANYWAY I`LL BE FILLING ALOT MORE INTO THE SCRIPT, BUT LETS GET TO THE FIGHT PHOTOS.      MY FIGHT AGAINST THE CREATURE, THOUGH NOT MY FIRST FIGHT, WAS MY FIRST FILMED FIGHT.  THE KAMIKAZE, WAS HIRED BY THE MOVIE COMPANY,TO PROVIDE THE OPPOSITION FOR THE CREATURE [formarly creature from the black lagoon]IN THE FIGHT SCENES IN THE MOVIE.  THEY TOLD ME THAT IF I MADE A GOOD SHOWING [won] THAT I`D BE IN LINE FOR A TITLE SHOT WITH RODAN.  ANYWAY, I LOST TO THE CREATURE.  THE PHOTO PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP.   I WAS OVERCONFIDENT AND RECKLESS.  DONT THINK I`M MAKING EXCUSES, BUT THERE ARE MITIGATING FACTORS. ILL EXPLAIN BELOW THE PHOTO.

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I WAS OVERCONFIDENT WITH THE CREATURE BECAUSE I NOT ONLY HAD MY USUAL PLAN[kamikaze crash]], BUT ALSO A BACKUP PLAN, AND AN EMERGENCY PLAN.  I FIGURED THE KAMIKAZE WOULD DO UP THE CREATURE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, SO I DECIDED TO JUST GO TOE TO TOE WITH HIM.  SHOT FOR SHOT.  IT DIDN`T WORK OUT QUITE AS I HAD HOPED [see photo]. ANYWAY I LAUNCH PLAN B.  OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE.  MY BUDDY IS SUPPOSED TO SNEAK UP ON THE CREATURE FROM BEHIND, BUT AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT HE GETS UNAVIODABLY DETAINED HIMSELF.[bottom left of photo].  FOR MY EMERGENCY PLAN, I HAD TWO GUYS THAT THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO SHOOT THE CREATURE IN THE BACK, IF I STARTED LOSING.    BUT THEY HAD BECOME DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY[bottom right of photo].   YOU SEE?  NOTHING WENT RIGHT.   ANYWAY THE KAMIKAZE TOOK A BEATING IN THAT ONE. A COUPLE OF MY FREINDS GOT HURT TOO...........   NOW LETS GET GET TO THE NEXT PHOTOS.  MY FIGHTS AGAINST THE WEREWOLF, AND THE BIG GUY.  THE WEREWOLF WAS A PRICK. NOBODY LIKED HIM. SNOOTY.  HE ONLY HUNG OUT WITH THE GUYS ABOUT ONE NIGHT A MONTH.  HE`S TOO GOOD FOR US, YOU KNOW?.. BUT THE BIG GUY WAS ALRIGHT. HE LOVED IT IN THE DOG SAVAGE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS.  HE COULDN`T MAKE WEIGHT ANYWHERE ELSE. HE EVEN GOT THE KAMIKAZE A SMALL PART IN A MOVIE HE STARRED IN.  I WAS A PASSENGER ON A BUS.[ this will be covered in:  american kamikaze filmography] HE`S A REAL GEM.. YES SIR. JUST MENTION THE BIG GUY IN THIS BUSINESS AND THEY`LL KNOW WHO YOU`RE TALKING ABOUT RIGHT AWAY.   ANYWAY THE FIGHTS.  I WON THEM BOTH.  THE AMERICAN KAMIKAZE CAME BACK IN EACH FIGHT.  IT LOOKS AS THOUGH I`M AT A DISADVANTAGE IN EACH LIVE PHOTO, BUT ONE PICTURE DOSN`T TELL THE STORY.  AS FAR AS THE WOLFMAN. WE FOUGHT BEFORE A VERY SPARSE, UNRESPONSIVE AUDIENCE[see photo]. THEY WOULDN`T EVEN BUY A BEER..AS FOR AS THE FIGHT.. ALL THE READER HAS TO DO IS TO GO TO THE 'KAMIKAZE VS MONSTERS'  PAGE OF THIS WEB SITE FOR A MUCH MORE DETAILED FIGHT BETWEEN THE KAMIKAZE AND THE WEREWOLF.  WHEN IT WAS ALL SAID AND DONE, SEE WHOSE HAND IS RAISED IN VICTORY......AS FAR AS THE BIG GUY.  HE WENT FOR THE 'CRUSH AND DROWN'.  HIS FAVORITE MOVE. I EXPECTED IT.  I USED MY HAMMER FIST KNUCKLE BASH. I SPENT YEARS IN THE ORIENT PRACTICING THIS TECHNIQUE, IN CASE I EVER GOT GRABBED BY A GIANT..  I  KEPT ATTACKING JUST HIS KNUCKLE.  I WASN`T SURE IF I HAD THE STAMINA TO BEAT HIM UP ALL OVER HIS BODY, SO I CONCENTRATED ON THE HAMMER FIST KNUCKLE BASH.    NOTICE THAT I PUMP UP A LITTLE EXTRA FOR MATCHES IN THE DOG FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIPS....I KNOW I APPEAR TO BE HAVING DIFFICULTY IN THE PHOTO see next text

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I HAD SPENT YEARS IN THE ORIENT PERFECTING MY HAMMER FIST KNUCKLE BASH ON A GIANT TECHNIQUE, AND IT FINALLY PAYED OFF.  WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARED [oh so what?}, AND THE BATTLE ENDED, WE ALL FOUND OUT WHO WAS THE BIGGER MAN....OTHER PLACES THE AMERICAN KAMIKAZE HAS DONE BATTLE FOR HIS PEOPLE INCLUDE THE OUTER UNIVERSE COMPETITIONS [O.U.C.] WHERE EACH MATCH DEMANDS THAT WARRIORS FROM OTHER PLANETS FACE EACH OTHER[diversity].  BELOW ARE A COUPLE OF FIGHT SCENES FROM THE OUTER UNIVERSE COMPETETIONS.   THESE FIGHTS WERE FILMED, AND THE COVERS SHOW PART [or pretty much all] OF THE FIGHT. THESE FIGHTS WERE FILMED WITH 8 MILLEMETER FILM, BECAUSE THE LAW FORBIDS FILMING THESE FIGHTS ANY OTHER WAY.   BOTH THESE FIGHTS FEATURED EARTHS "FRANKENSTEIN" AND THE "AMERICAN KAMIKAZE." [hey. that`s me]  FROM OUTER SPACE WAS THE "SPACE MONSTER"[appripriatrly] AND MY OPPONENT. "MONSTER FROM A PREHISTORIC PLANET"....I AM NOT GOING TO TRY TO PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES.  I LOST MY FIGHT VERY DECISIVEY.  MY STRATGEY OF A DIRECT ROOFTOP ATTACK BOMBED BIG TIME.  I PLAYED RIGHT INTO HIS HANDS GETTING UP THERE LIKE THAT.  I HAVE NO EXCUSES, BUT IF HE WANTS TO TRY IT AGAIN, JUST LET THE KAMIKAZE KNOW.   NOW THO THE OTHER FIGHT "FRANKENSTEIN VERSUS THE SPACE MONSTER"  AFTER CENTURIES OF ELECTRICITY SHOT INTO HIS HEAD, THE FRANKSTER FINDS OUT THAT IT IS BETTER TO BE THE ZAPPER THEN THE ZAPEE.  AFTER THE BIG WIN, FRANKENSTEIN JOKED ABOUT HOW LONG HE`S BEEN ON THRE WRONG SIDE OF THESE THINGS. "LOOK AT MY FACE." HE QUIPPED.

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MY POOR PERFORMENCE AGAINST THE MONSTER PREHISTORIC IS THE REASON MY NAME WASN`T PUT ON THE BOX.  NOTICE THAT THE OTHER COMPETITORS WERE MENTIONED PROMINENTLY, BUT NO MENTION KAMIKAZE.  I WOULD RATHER NOT SEE MY NAME THERE ANYWAY.....american kamikaze.......sore loser......

       
       
 

BARON  KAMIKAZE  VON  MUNCHAUSEN ........[adventure 1520]....     THERE I WAS, RIDING IN MY CAMPER, WAY UP IN A REMOTE MOUNTANIOUS AREA [i cant remember the state, but it was out west, and had alot of mountains, and trees, and stuff,  if that helps at all]........SO ANYWAY, AFTER I HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR OVER THREE HOURS, WITHOUT EVEN SEEING ANOTHER CAR,  I DECIDED TO SEEK SOME SOLITUDE, AND I TURNED DOWN THIS VERY NORROW BACKROAD.... THE ROAD WAS SO NARROW THAT I REALIZED I WOULDN`T BE ABLE TO TURN MY CAMPER AROUND....SO I FIGURED I WOULD GO UP THE ROAD A WAYS,  SPEND THE NIGHT, BOND WITH NATURE, THEN BACK OUT IN THE MORNING.......SO EVERYTHING WAS NICE....AND I SLEPT SOUNDLY............BUT EARLY THE NEXT MORNING, I`M WOKEN, BY THE AWFUL NOISE OF MOTORCYCLES, AND VOICES JUST OUTSIDE MY CAMPER........SO I GET UP AND POKE MY HEAD OUT THE DOOR...........IT`S A BUNCH OF HELLS ANGELS TYPE CHARACTERS, ON MOTORCYCLES, MAKING ALOT OF RACKET.......NOT ONLY THAT BUT THEY`RE THE UGLIEST, NASTYIST, AND SMELLEYIST LOOKING BUNCH I`VE EVER SEEN.......INCLUDING THE ANGELETTES, THERE WERE ABOUT FIFTY OF THEM......MANY OF THEM HAD SWASTIKAS, AND NAZI STUFF, AND SKULLS AND CROSSBONES, AND SUCH........ANYWAY TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT,  THE STORY WAS THAT THE MOST BELOVED MEMBER OF THE GANG, THE FOUNDING MEMBER, HAD DIED RECENTLY, AND THEY HAD HIS CASKET IN A PICKUP TRUCK, AND THEY WERE TAKING HIM TO BE BURIED......BUT ONLY ONE VEHICLE  CAN OCCUPY THIS NARROW ROAD, AT A TIME....AND ALL AROUND, OFF THE ROAD WAS BUMPY, WET, SWAMPLIKE AREA........SO THE SITUATION IS, THAT THEY WANT ME TO BACK OUT OF THE NARROW ROAD, SO THEY CAN GO TO THE CHURCH SERVICE, AND BURIAL................NOW I`M  AS RESPECTING, AND CONSIDERATE, AND SENSITIVE AS THE NEXT GUY, BUT  I  GOT A PROBLEM HERE...........YOU SEE.  I CONSIDER 10 HOURS OF SLEEP TO BE MY NORMAL SITUATION......ANY SLEEP I GET PAST THAT, I CONSIDER MY BEAUTY REST.......NOW THESE PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING ME DURING MY BEAUTY REST.......SO EVEN THOUGH I FELT A LITTLE GUILTY,  I FINALLY TOLD THEM, I CAN`T HELP YOU OUT.......SO ANYWAY, AS THEY`RE TRYING TO NAVIGATE THE PICKUP TRUCK AROUND ME, AND OVER THE BUMPY SWAMPY AREA, THE TRUCK HITS A BIG BUMP, AND THE COFFIN BOUNCES OFF THE TRUCK,  POPS OPEN, AND THE STIFF TUMBLES OUT,  INTO ABOUT TWO FEET OF MUD..............NOW, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A POSITION, A SITUATION, WHEN YOU DIDN`T WANT TO LAUGH, BUT YOU JUST COULDN`T HELP IT?........I TRIED TO HOLD IT IN, BUT I COULDN`T...IT WAS HYSTERICAL.......I MEAN, PICTURE THIS.  THE STIFF WAS FLOATING DOWN THIS VALLEY OF MUD, AND THESE HELLS ANGELS CHARACTERS, ARE SLIPPING, AND FALLING ALL OVER THE PLACE, TRYING TO GET THE BODY BACK IN THE CASKET, THEN THE CASKET BACK ON THE TRUCK.....IT WAS A RIOT.........I KNOW IT`S TERRIBLE, BUT THATS THE MOST I EVER LAUGHED............SO ANYWAY AFTER AWHILE I WENT BACK INTO MY CAMPER, AND MADE SOME COFFEE...... NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK??   THEY`RE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR.  THEY WANT A TOWEL, TO CLEAN UP THE STIFF , FOR THE SERVICE......NOW I`M REALLY STARTING TO GET ANNOYED.  I`M HERE TO RELAX, A LITTLE, YOU KNOW??...I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BOTHER ME ALL DAY LONG???   COME ON ALREADY... FINALLY, I JUST DIDN`T PAY ATTENTION TO THEM ANYMORE.........YOU KNOW??? I DON`T LIKE TO BE THAT WAY, BUT COME ONE NOW...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.............WHAT DO YOU THINK, I`M MADE OF PATIENCE???.........................[be sure to tune in for baron kamikaze von munchausen adventure 2048.  " on mars"].

   

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Bomb!
AMERICAN KAMIKAZE     THE AK 47 OF FREE SPEECH